Just show up.
Sometimes that’s all it takes to make a difference.
Show up tired. Show up messy. Just be there day in and day out.
That’s all I could do for a few months in the ‘18-‘19 school year. Just show up.
The students in my classroom didn’t care if my hair was in a bun or my clothes were wrinkled. The only thing that stuck with them? Our dance breaks, the times we laughed, shared stories, and hugs. So many hugs.
That school year was the hardest year of my life.
I was just married, figuring out how to be a wife, and basically starting a new career.
Transitioning from private school teaching (and going to private school my whole life) to public education, seriously did a number on me. It’s like culture shock, y’all.
Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t arrived. I’m not even close to having it all figured out. But you know what makes it all worth it? My kids. The students I share the classroom with.
The first semester was hot mess express! Plans were changed and worlds were filled upside down. Did I handle everything with grace and love? Uh no. That was the first time I full on balled in the hallway with the kids still in the room with a sub.
But those babies. Their face when they learned to spell sight words and make complete sentences. Their faces when they finally realize they can read. When they count to 100 for the first time on their own.
The thing God reveals to me the most in my classroom is His promise of new mercies every day. I will be the first to admit, that is hard. If someone makes me made one day, you better believe it isn’t going to magically be better the next morning when I wake up.
But you know what those children do every morning? Yell my name and hug me as tight as possible. Even though I snapped at them yesterday. Even though I didn’t fix their toy. Even though I didn’t have time to do everything I said I was going to. Even though I failed.
God doesn’t care that you failed. He cares about what you choose to do with that failure. Are you going to stay down in defeat? Or will you come up stronger than before? Will you chose today will be the day you change?
That’s all you can do. Take today for what it is, and make it good.
So for now I will marvel in that fact that I get to be someone’s favorite teacher. Even if it’s just that year or a couple after that.
This beautiful blessing and responsibility as an educator is why I chose to be a teacher, and why I will continue to work on myself to be a better one. For them.
For all my past and future students.
So whatever you choose to do in life, make it good.
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