Take the Picture

Photo credit: Chloe Giancola Photography

I’ve never really been one for body positivity or posting about being comfortable in your own skin.

It’s not that I don’t agree with it or that I don’t like the message: I do. I appreciate the heart behind it, and often have to remind myself to not be so judgmental toward myself and others.

The picture you see above would have made me cringe in high school.

If I knew I would gain weight and be “plus size” at this stage in my life, I probably would have cried.

I didn’t think about healthy or not healthy, I didn’t care what I was as long as I was thin.

I’m learning that this thinking is not a healthy way to live and that it leads to more disappointment than good.

If you give me two seconds, I can pick myself apart by pointing out so many flaws in that picture.

But the first thing I thought of when I saw it?

Man do I look happy.

And I am!

At first, I put on a ‘fake it til you make it’ smile. I was aggravated and not excited about seeing myself in pictures. I wanted the memories and the celebration, but I knew I wouldn’t love how I looked.

Then we got into it. My favorite photographer, Chloe, is so encouraging and fun. Everything is “so good!” And it makes you feel great.

My smile became more genuine as the 30 mins. passed, and by the end, it was so authentic, I didn’t stop when the camera was off. My cheeks were frozen in place and sore.

It got me thinking...

To my surprise, I haven’t found happiness or joy in being skinny. I haven’t found happiness in the number on the tag of my jeans.

I have found it in so many other places, but especially my husband and family.

I have found joy in serving the Lord with my spouse.

I have found happiness in doing the mundane chores with my puppies playing in the living room.

I’ve found peace and joy in so many other things, that I’m finally recognizing that I don’t have to be defined by the number on a scale or the reflection in the mirror.

Yes, I want to make my health more of a priority. No, I don’t want to praise obesity and gluttony.

I am always working on myself, just like everyone else.

But I’m glad that I finally look at myself, holding my husband’s hand, and see that I’m happy, not everything else I could be labeled as.

I guess what the point of this blog is to say: get in front of the camera.

Take the pictures (highly recommend a professional photographer)!

Be bold.

Because who you and I are and what we believe about ourselves should be rooted in the Savior.

I want you to believe the things He says about you, not what the world says.

I am beyond blessed to have a husband, friends, and family that speak those words of life into me everyday.

But even if you don’t, find what God says about you in his word.

Find your joy and happiness in the blessed life He has given you.